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Thursday, September 2, 2010

Our Dependencies

...and how we handle problems.

Out here, in the quiet of the night, we sit. It's 10:30 and the clock is ticking past my bedtime. Our hushed voices are interrupted now and again by a screaming child a few houses down the street. The moon hasn't risen yet, but my porch light illuminates the grass. We tear at it impatiently, letting it's thin green blades slip through our fingers. We're talking.

We've been talking. Two hours into our conversation and we're still not getting anywhere.

My friend is in pain and I do not have the means to bandage his soul.

So we talk, as friends do.

My heart breaks every time I hear of someone who does not have a close friend and confidant. I've been then and it's hard. Unfortunately, homeschooling parents can find themselves far away from a support network. There are some times when even bloggy friends just can't quite cut it. I think we come to depend, in many ways, on our friends, and when we don't have one the world begins to break apart.

There are certainly other dependencies... like alcohol. [NB: Video contains a very mild profanity and mention of inappropriate activities. If you would not find that funny, you may want to skip this one. ...I, for the record, laughed.]

Another tendency is to find a group of like-minded people with whom you can complain. This is very different from a friend who may smack you upside the head when you need it. In these gatherings, the idea is to commiserate and reinforce your perspective ...even if it's wrong. [NB: The following video contains swearing] This video from The Onion--a satire "news" organization--demonstrates group complaining very well. Unfortunately, they do so with the frequent use of four-letter words. You have been warned! [Again: If you won't find it funny, please don't watch it.]

Who, or what, do you depend on to get you through the difficult times?

Is there anything my small group here at Sonlight can pray with you about? Remember, if you'd rather not post a public comment, feel free to email me:

Whether you were up late last night talking through some difficult situation in your life or you got 12 hours of sleep, I pray you were able to rest in the new mercies of God today... even if you had trouble keeping your eyes open now and again. <cough>

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Empty Nester


Ariana Sullivan said...

That first video was freaking hilarious!

I didn't click the second link because I really don't like hearing four-letter words. Thanks for the warning ;-)

With all the very good friends I've ever had the best one is my husband as cheesy as it sounds.
I can't imagine having a better friend than him.

Which can be bad because all my other long-term friendships were neglected after I met him. ha

Besides that, as hard as I've tried to find support nearby for homeschooling I just haven't been able to yet. I gave up once I got pregnant and have relied only on message boards. Hopefully this winter when I start joining groups again and stuff like that I'll find a place where I feel comfortable!

I think you're an awesome friend for being there so completely for your friend. Everyone needs at least one friend like that :-)

Unknown said...

Strong, deep friendships are hard to find...especially when homeschooling moms (and dads) spend so much time taking care of our own families. Thanks for posting a bit about this's probably one that a lot of us share.


Luke Holzmann said...

Ariana, a spouse can be a fantastic friend <smile>. May whatever groups you get into be just what you need!

Brandi, yes, I had several years of my life where I didn't have any close friends. It was rough. May your internet friends--and the people you know "in real life"--continue to encourage and strengthen you!



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