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Monday, May 10, 2010

Siblings Yesterday, Family Today

I shift my weight onto my elbows again. I'm sprawled in my younger sister's living room chatting with my older sister and wife. It's pushing past midnight.

We've been discussing adoption, surrogate parenting and the struggles, frustrations, concerns and confusion we have already encountered on this journey. And we look toward the future. Painfully, however, the future is even less certain, less known, and full of more conflict and the persistent fog of war.

"I don't even want to go there," I say, trying to find a comfortable way to support my weight on the floor.

The women around me nod.

Half an hour later, as we start the drive home, my wife says, "I know we stayed late, but I wanted you to be able to talk with your sister. You don't get to do that much."

I don't.

But we have a bond that, while not incredible close, allows us to chat late into the night about the ups and downs of life. We can laugh over dinner. We enjoy being together.

Homeschooling didn't create that bond. My older sister, four years my senior, was always in a radically different place in life. But our family had a lifestyle influenced by homeschooling. Life was an opportunity to learn, grow and share... together. And that togetherness persists through today, just hours after we said goodbye and headed home.

So, no, homeschooling doesn't create family connection. But it is a powerful catalyst that helps foster family bonds.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father


Tammy said...

Amen, Luke! Homeschooling builds strong family bonds and I find myself witnessing it more and more as my children grow up and leave home. They share such a strong history from all those years of being together 24/7 that when they return home it's like they just pick up where they left off as they know each other well. Of course, this can be good or bad depending upon what buttons they push! LOL!

Tammy ~@~

mary grace said...

Thank you so much for posting this. I maintain that family culture is so much more important than being age-mates or whathaveyou. Seeing and hearing it in action does a Momma's heart good.

Luke Holzmann said...

Yes, Tammy, those buttons can be both good and bad <smile>. Thankfully, as you grow closer together and mature, we tend to stop purposely pushing the bad buttons as much <smile>.

Mary Grace, glad you liked it. Thanks for taking the time to say so <smile>.


Contemplating Cadie said...

Just today I got to reconnect with an old friend through facebook. She is expecting her second and was very impressed that we're homeschooling. I congratulated her on having two and told her my two were best friends.

I have a ten year old boy and a two year old girl!

Luke Holzmann said...

A best friend is a wonderful thing to have in a sibling <smile>.



luke holzmann
Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Empty Nester
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