Perfect Socialization

Sarita's Word

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On Christmas Eve day, we met as a smaller family group and pulled out my new Christmas gift set of handbells. We passed out the bells to the group and played several Christmas carols I had written out with color coded notes. The music we made was definitely joyful, and the cacophony fun to create.

As I pulled out the bells, I noticed that my daughter-in-law, Brittany, pulled aside the girls she and Luke are caring for and explained to them exactly what was coming. She walked them through what we were going to do, explained what their roles would be, and basically prepared them to not fail.

What she did caused me not only to notice, but to meditate on what she had done. I thought: That is perfect socialization. Rather than throw kids into situations where they either act inappropriately out of discomfort or they must watch surreptitiously out of the corner of their eyes to see what others are doing, we, as parents, are ideally placed to provide our children many of the clues they need to succeed in life. We can help them walk into unfamiliar circumstances poised and prepared to do all things well.

For example, we can show our children how to decorate cookies rather than just hand them a bowl of frosting and candies. As I gave my one-year-old granddaughter a butter knife with frosting, I held up my decorated cookie and showed her how I had spread the frosting and added the M&M's in the corners. She confidently picked up the knife, spread frosting on her cookie and added M&M's to complete her own beautifully decorated cookie.

Then, at the Christmas Eve service, I saw a negative example—and I was the culprit! During the service, our church has the little children come up to the front and listen to a children's Christmas story. Brittany did not plan on having the kids go up, but I said, "No, let me take them up!"

So I took all the grandchildren by the hand and brought them to listen to the story.

While the kids stood quietly and listened to the story, it suddenly struck me: they would have gotten much more out of the story if I had explained to them what was about to happen, how the storytelling would take place, what they should do, and so forth. Because I had failed to orient them, none of the kids thought to look at the pictures of the story displayed on the big screen, and I'm not sure they followed the story line either.

Perhaps you can think of examples where either you did—or did not—instruct your children beforehand about what was about to happen or how they should behave in a certain situation. I expect your stories may prove helpful to others. Will you share them with me—either personally and directly (write to president@sonlight.com) or—better—by posting on the Beam forum?

Thank you!

May we model and explain to our children how to behave appropriately in all situations. In so doing, may we help our children cultivate the confidence and skills they need for life.

Blessings to you and yours in the New Year!
Sarita

URGENT: End of the Year Opportunity

Way back in 2008, Sonlight had the Rice Bag giving opportunity. It was a huge success.

I got an email two hours ago from Mission India with another opportunity: Give before the end of 2009 and your money will be doubled. A ministry partner has agreed to match up to $150,000 of gifts given in the last few hours of 2009.

Just wanted to spread the word. This is a crazy opportunity. Crazy time frame. Crazy cool. So if you're looking for a last minute place to give your tax deductible gifts for 2009, consider giving to Mission India.

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As I wrap up my last day of work for 2009, I'll share a small update I did yesterday. You can now find a friendly link to Sonia on the right side of most pages on Sonlight's website. Who is Sonia? Head on over and find out!


Happy New Year!

See you next week in 2010.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father

The Dying Mouse

The cursor stutters across the screen. I need to be precise, but my tools are failing me. The timeline is packed with clips, graphics and audio files. The computer lags for a moment. My hand slips across the mousepad. The edit is wrong.

Undo. Try again.

This is the third mouse I've killed since starting here at Sonlight.

And, no, I do not stick them on the glue boards by the entryway.


Mouse Trap

So, it's time for a new interface tool. I've put in my request for a tablet. Hopefully I'll get one shortly after the new year. That would be fantastic!

Any new tools on the horizon for you? (aside from the obvious, of course) New computer gadgets? Better kitchenware? New pencils? An electronic book reader?

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father

Nail Clippers for Weasels

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Some Blog Business:
Blog comments are beautiful things. ...unless they are from "Anonymous" who is sharing links that are, well, less than ideal.

That is why I have fiddled with Blogger's code and finally figured out how to make Anonymous's comments no longer show up on a post's main page. They will still be in the "Post a Comment" section until I delete them, but at least my blog's posts will be cleaner. Now, on with the post!

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All Things Being Equal, Who's Best?

I was forwarded a link to the August, 2009 NHERI findings summary. There are some interesting stats, but one idea really caught my attention:

There are no statistically significant differences in achievement by whether the student has been home educated all his or her academic life [or] whether the student is enrolled in a full-service curriculum...

There are [marginally] statistically significant differences in achievement among homeschool students when classified by ...amount of money spent on education, ...degree of structure in the homeschooling, [and] amount of time student spends in structured learning...

In other words: It looks like it doesn't much matter what curriculum you use or for how long.

At first that stung. I really want to be able to tell everyone that Sonlight is the shining difference in the homeschool marketplace. I would love it if the study had said, "Students who use Sonlight far and away out-perform their peers." But that's not what the data shows.

Thanks for bursting my bubble.

But then I thought about it more: So what? This actually reinforces something I've said over and over again, "Homeschooling is a great option!" And Sonlight, Sonlight is one of the really great options; not because your students will suddenly become smarter, more gifted, test better, achieve great things or outshine their peers. Sonlight is a great option because of the very thing we guarantee:

You will love to teach and your students will love to learn with Sonlight, or your money back.

Your educational outcome will be more-or-less on par with other excellent homeschool results. Sonlight won't be what makes your students succeed. But Sonlight will provide you with a homeschooling experience that you and your family will love.

And if all other things are equal, that's a really big deal.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father

P.S. I don't know much about weasel nail clippers, but I do have a bit of experience with trimming rat teeth. Not very much fun. Thanks, Mrs. C, for this blog's title.

The Dilbert Dilemma

I read an interview with Scott Adams (creator of Dilbert) in the Costco Magazine a while back. The point that stuck with me was that Mr. Adams says he struggles to remember what topics he's already covered in his strip.

Now, he's been doing Dilbert for 20 years. But as I come up on another year of blogging, I can relate to his struggle ...and I haven't been doing this nearly as long. I'm struck again and again with the thought, "Have I blogged about this already?"

Repetition is fine, sure. But I don't want to bore anyone by repeating myself. If I'm going to say the same thing again and again, it needs to be with purpose, reason and intentionality. I mean, it's okay to repeat an idea... but not if it drives readers away. Yet, I realize that people stumble across this blog from time to time, and I don't want them to miss anything, which is one reason why I repeat myself. But that means I'm being repetitive. And repetition is fine, sure. But I don't want to bore anyone...

<cough>

You get the picture.

Of course, you're not sitting in a cube like me or Dilbert. You're spending your days homeschooling. You're reading incredible books. You're doing fun science experiments. You're relearning math. You're experiencing the joy of life-long learning. So everything is new every day, yes?

No?

Even with all the wonderful books you're reading with your students, life can become a grind. Even homeschooling can feel repetitive. Holiday breaks can be great, but they can also emphasize your routine as well. And that can be disheartening.

So mix it up a bit.

The girls loved listening to "grandpa" and "grandma" read to them while we visited over Christmas. And they're not the only ones. Even college graduates still find joy in Sonlight's Read-Alouds.

If you're looking for something new and different in the coming year--or just feeling "the grind"--then perhaps ask someone else to do a little reading.

It may just make your day and bring a fresh perspective to your homeschooling journey.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father

Immanuel

I won't be here tomorrow to wish you all a Merry Christmas. My family always has our big Christmas shindig on Christmas Eve. That's why I'm doing it today:

Merry Christmas!

Sure, Christ most likely wasn't born on December 25. But it is nice to take a day (or three) and celebrate the fact that He humbled Himself and walked among us.

If I get a great family photo to share, I'll post it here in the coming days.

Until then, may you have a wonderful Christmas... and all that entails!

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father

Lonely and Cold

Olfactory cues are powerful things. To this day the smell of my parent's leather couch brings me back to several specific titles I read while homeschooled. Campfire smoke trapped in clothing transports me to the woods. Chlorine raises my pulse as I remember preparing to swim the mile at Nationals.

Other smells are even more naturally tied. The scent of a Christmas tree. Cookies and bread baking in the oven. The smell of snow as it approaches on the night air. Wet wool mittens as they dry.

But one smell consistently causes my eyes to well up with tears: My car's heater running at full blast.

Something about that hot, dry air rushing over my face in my frozen car reminds me of "the holidays." I don't know what it is about this time of year but I don't feel a closeness to all humanity. Instead, I feel distant, aloof, alone.

Which is crazy. I'm always with friends and family. We go the church services. We have parties. We eat, drink and are merry.

Perhaps that's the problem.

I'm an introvert and a homebody. Parties don't elevate me. "Catching up" with distant relatives feels forced. The inevitable exhausted drive home in the cold dark nights around Christmas just get to me.


Night Drive

I love celebrating with my family. I do enjoy the opportunities and connections this time of year allows. I have a New Year's party every year at my house. So it's not that I don't like this time of year. But for whatever reason, the smell of my car's heater reminds me that I often feel lonely too.

Why so glum?

Yesterday I spent some time crafting a couple blog comments. Both have been rejected by the blog authors. One went so far as to slam me for attempting to comment.

I take my position seriously. I love interacting with people on blogs. I am thrilled when I meet a new person.

But some days, much like those cold holiday night drives, I feel alone.

Do you ever get moody near the holidays, or is it just me?

What's your favorite memory that comes back to you when you smell something?

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father

P.S. I'm not really fishing for positive comments here, but I sure do appreciate them <smile>.

Christmas Conspiracies

Presents, trees, family and friends, eggnog, reindeer, corny old movies, potentially even cornier music, red and green decorations hanging everywhere, cards from people you've never met, sales, and conspiracy theories.

Ah... Christmas.

I was thinking about writing a series on this, but "the bounce has gone out of my bungee." And I did a series last week, so... yeah. No series. Just a few points that have struck me over the last few weeks.

Twice now I've heard people discuss the things that Christmas "borrowed" from pre-Christian beliefs. Seems to be a rather popular topic this time of the year. And why not? If Christ's birth is merely the conglomeration of myths cut and pasted together, then that sure puts Christianity in a bad light.

Trouble is: While many of the commonly cited religions/mythologies do predate Christ, their ties to Christ don't appear until well after Christ Himself.

Huh?

Winter Solstice has long been celebrated by cultures worldwide. And with good reason: Agrarian cultures are tied closely to the changing seasons. But ties to a Son of God, born of a virgin, later to die a martyr's death and rise again to save mankind... yeah, those all got tied to various mythologies post-Christ.

My mom researched this a few weeks back in response to a letter she received. And my pastor talked about it yesterday. Since it came up twice, thought it was time to pass it along. Fear not: If anything, pagans borrowed from Christians for this one.


On the other side of the conspiracy fence is the group of Christians who decry Christmas because it borrows from pagans. Yep, that's right: Same complaint, slightly different bent. The argument goes that since this is a man-made potentially borrowed from pagans "holy day," we are to avoid it. Much like Halloween, only without the added ammunition of demons and ghouls.

Thus far, I haven't seen anything in Scripture that even hints at staying away from remembering Christ and spending time rejoicing in His goodness to us with friends and family. I've read a few blog posts on this recently, but they have been far from compelling. But, sure: The consumerism is a tad out of control. And it's a pain to find presents for everyone <smile>.


Whether you celebrate Christmas or Solstice or nothing, I am interested in hearing your thoughts on the matter. I do love me a good conspiracy <smile>.

For me, the only question that remains is this: Why do we have so many songs about Christ's birth, but so few about His Resurrection?

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father

Greater Educators

Read Part 3 if you missed it.

I'd like to end this series by turning the focus around.

See, I've had some really great teachers over the years. And they weren't all just my mom. And they weren't just my AWANA Counselors, Camp Group Leaders, Sunday School teachers, pastors, coaches and mentors--though I've had a fair share of great people in those roles as well. There were more. Many more.

I look back with fondness as I remember:

• The high school teacher who gave me a zero on an assignment because I forgot to put my name at the top. That was an important lesson to learn and I'm glad she didn't budge from her decision. (Notice how all these posts are signed?)
• My Psychology teacher who helped me rock on the AP Psych exam. (His course is now available to homeschoolers in the form of Sonlight's Psychology program.)
• My Bible professor who continues to check up on me every now and again.
• My film prof who took time every week to talk with me about my dreams, goals and ideas.

That's just to list a few.

I am not one to say that homeschooling is the only way we should learn. I am not against other educational models. I have benefited from public and private schooling myself. I have had the benefit of many great educators. Many of whom were outside of the school system entirely.

And that is why I say, over and over again, "Homeschooling is a great option." Walking down one path requires you to abandon another. There are fantastic options and resources out there. And you, as the parent, have the great responsibility and opportunity to choose what will be best for you and your students.

You can teach your child. And no matter what other opportunities you invest in, your students will have many other mentors and teachers. This is a wonderful thing that only adds to the beauty of homeschooling.

On the other hand, you can relax and go where you need to in life. Mary Grace has a very good post on this subject.

Whether with Sonlight or no, may you and your children be blessed with confidence as you work together on sorting out life's mysteries.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father

Educator #3 - The Weight of Blessing

He is a brilliant physicist. So brilliant, in fact, that he convinced me that I didn't understand electron clouds. I did. But his explanation was so over my head that I was sure I had missed something.

Anyway.

He was kind, generous with his time and possessions, and loved nature. We were of different perspectives in other areas, to be sure, but we got along just fine.

However, something struck me when I came back to visit him a few years after graduation. Much like Part 2 of this series--I discovered a new dimension to my teacher, a new level of disconnect.

He looked up from behind his desk. "Oh, hey!" He greeted me warmly. "How are you doing?"

I rehearsed the last few years of my life: college, work, marriage...

He smiled. "See? You work hard. You went out there and got this for yourself. Good work!"

I twitched.

"I'm blessed," I countered. "I've really had some amazing opportunities and things handed to me."

He studied me. A sudden weight filled the air between us. "You've got to give yourself credit. You always work hard. Your success is due to your efforts. It's great to see how far you've come already."

"No," I replied, probably more sharply that I should have. "No, I didn't do this on my own. So many things were given to me. I am truly blessed to be where I am."

In my memory we went around a few more times, neither conceding the other's view. I didn't feel like I had really earned anything. No. My friends, my house, my wife, my position, my stuff... all of it had been a gift, an opportunity, a blessing wholly apart from me. I had been there. But I was the beneficiary, not the originator.

That was the first time I was really aware of a clash of worldviews.


Part 4 is available.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father

Mother-Daughter Christmas Interview

Sarita's Word

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As Christmas draws near, I thought a little "mother-daughter Christmas interview" with Amy and Jonelle might be a fun change of pace. A co-worker asked some questions and got us thinking about our experiences with family and Christmas. Enjoy!

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you think about Christmas?
Me: It's a chance to remember that Jesus willingly left his home in heaven to come live among us. That's pretty astonishing.

Do you have a funny Christmas memory?
Amy: My husband's family would often act out the Christmas story, so one year we tried that with the Holzmann extended family. I was Mary, so I took my 4-month-old son and stuck him under my sweatshirt as I rode on my brother-in-law "donkey" to the stable. There, I popped the baby out: "That's the easiest birth I've ever had." My sister almost fell off her chair, she was laughing so hard. When I'm with my family, we usually laugh pretty hard.

What's one of your favorite Christmas memories?
Jonelle: One of my favorite moments every Christmas Eve is when it's time to get the presents. My mom usually has piled them in the downstairs closets after collecting things all year and we can finally go and retrieve them! What fun to go down and grab a few, or now pass the nephews some light ones to carry up. Everyone is laughing and joking and excited.

Do you go to a candlelight service on Christmas Eve? Do you have other Christmas Eve traditions?
Me: We always attend a candlelight service on Christmas Eve. We eat dinner then send the kids to collect the gifts from downstairs. After multiple trips, we pass out the gifts in order and open them for hours. I give one larger gift per person and four smaller ones. And with the size of our family, that many gifts take a while to open.

Jonelle: It is wonderful to see the reaction for each new gift. I love the slow, methodical, laughing, joyous, loud time together. It is always very, very loud.

Does anything special go into your stockings?
Me: Small gifts wrapped in newspaper.

Amy: Mom SAYS she just puts "little" things in the stockings, but even though they may be little, they are really great. One year as a teen, I thought the stocking was the best part; each little thing was really a considerate teeny gift. We would get an ornament or two, and Mom cross-stitched a new ornament for all of us every year. Also wished-for CDs or books or jewelry, and we got to open all the gifts at our own pace, not waiting for each person.

How are you celebrating this year?
Me: I had John buy me some kid's handbells as one of my gifts. A constant (but not well-worked) dream is to make Christmas music together. This year, because Dave and Jonelle are going to be with his parents on Christmas Day, we plan to meet early in the day on Christmas Eve Day. We'll have the guys go to the movies together while the girls make and decorate sugar cookies. Then we'll eat a big meal, do some sledding (or go to the park, depending on the weather), attend church, eat some more, open gifts and laugh together.

Amy: I'm suppressing the reality that I won't be with my extended family this year. I have a vague desire to hide the children's larger gifts around the farm and send them on a scavenger hunt to find theirs, but that will depend on the weather, and my organization.

And, finally, do you remember a time when Christmas or the Incarnation took on a deeper meaning for you or your family?
Amy: The first year I was a mother, I was really struck that Mary had a child as small as my child, that she had to care for him (feed him, clean him, love him) and that he was God. It's powerful to realize!

I pray that however you would have answered these questions, God shows His care for your family in a special way this season. I'll let you know how the handbell experiment goes!

Blessings,
Sarita

Educator #2 - The Confidence Man

Read Part 1 if you missed it.

He's a stocky fellow. His voice is loud and heavy. His eyes bore into his students with intensity. Legend says that he's thrown clipboards a hundred yards in one of his rages. He's intimidating when you're young.

I've seen him twice since I had him as a teacher. Both times I was struck by the insecurity that drips off him like a leaky faucet. He was a behemoth when I last saw him. What changed?

Me.

I changed. I grew up. I learned, as an adult, that adults struggle with many of the same issues that I dealt with as a child. And the need of acceptance, the quest for validation, the pursuit of control over your environment ...that never really goes away. But I couldn't see it when he was standing in front of the classroom or barking orders at his athletes. It was only later, seeing him in a different context, that his dominant personality was replaced by a much more timid character.

But then my mind wanders back to that moment when I should have seen it.

There was a lull in activity. Perhaps it was between class periods or directly after school. Whatever the case, he pulled me aside.

"Luke," he said in an almost hushed tone, "I really want to take part in this event. But I don't qualify. One of my friends has agreed to let me take his place. What do you think?"

I looked into his eyes. They were pleading. He really wanted to be a part of this.

"Besides," he continued, "there will be thousands of people there. No one is going to notice or care." He was building his case, psyching himself up, roping me in. He knew I was a Christian. I was more than vocal about my beliefs at that stage in my life. He had even called me "Bible Boy" when I questioned his use of the word fishes.^* He wanted my validation.

Why? Why did a grown man want permission from me before stepping out into a gray area?

Perhaps because I was certain of myself. Perhaps. But I know it infuriated him as well. He once told me that he had seen a guy on TV who reminded him of me. "The guy had your smile, Luke. He was just waiting to tell the reporter how wrong he was."

But at this moment my teacher was asking me if he could bend the rules. If he asked me today I would say, "Go for it." But at the time I was a little more wary. "You could get away with it." I left it at that.

...

Weeks later, the teacher proudly displayed his fake ID and participant's badge to the class. He recounted the tale of walking up to the registration table, armed with a cover story, and skirting by without a hitch. He reveled in completing one of his life dreams. He smiled.

And I sat in the second row watching him, still believing he was a confident man.


Part 3 is up.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father


Levity: lacking seriousness

Brought to you by Karen Joy

^*Turns out, "fishes" is the KJV version and "fish" is the NIV version.

Educators (i.e. Those In The System)

I have the impression of brown, earthy tones. But I honestly don't remember the color. The room smelled old. There was a white dented radiator to my left. The windows to my right must have been shaded. I have no memory of trees outside.

The walk up the creaking steps had only reinforced the foreign nature of this place. I wasn't exactly nervous, but there was a certain unease about the locale. Not sinister; brooding.

I was in Castle Rock, about to take a standardized test that would determine if I was learning adequately at home. I had done this kind of thing before and, near as I could tell, was still allowed to homeschool. That had to mean something.

The test started after the usual admonitions to fill in the bubbles completely. I must have ended a section early because suddenly the woman who was watching us take the test was at my side.

She showed me a piece of paper.

"Is this how you spell 'mystery'?" she asked.

The world suddenly began to spin the wrong way. Was this a test? Did she really not know? Why was she asking me? Worse yet, my mother had not yet begun to drill us on spelling. Was I reading into reverse psychology too much and so assuming that she was tricking me when she really wasn't and so it really was the right spelling, or was she testing my knowledge in such a way so as to find out if I was a fool and I would fail the exam entirely based on this one question? I was getting dizzy.

She was looking at me.

"Umm," I fought for time. "It looks right to me, but..." I could think of no way to pad myself from choosing wrong. "Yeah," I ended lamely.

She smiled and moved back to front of the classroom.

To this day I have no idea why she was asking me about the proper spelling of 'mystery,' which, I suppose, just makes it an even greater mystery.


Here's the link to Part 2.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father

P.S. Internet Explorer gives me grief. But the graphical header shift bug has been fixed. Well, hacked. I have no idea why it was shifting my blog up fifteen pixels. I compared the code to another blog that was working correctly... and the code is identical.

Huh?

Almost as confusing as a test administrator randomly asking you how to spell a word.

It's Not Homeschooling That's Hard

Parenting is hard. Homeschooling isn't.

That's my naive view of the moment. What's so hard about reading books together? I do that just about every night before bedtime. What's so hard about drilling kids on their colors and encouraging them to count? No, no... homeschooling is cake.

Parenting is rough! Good grief. Why didn't anyone tell me!?!

...wait... oh, right. You did.

I often giggle along while reading my Other Posts of Note; so many great stories of how parenting is both a delight and a strain. But, come on!

...

You've probably gathered this by now, but yesterday was not a good day.

Not good at all.

Bad attitudes all around (yep, me too). A constipated child (two hours of wailing and gnashing of teeth to get a "poopy" out. ...sign me up¹).

<sigh>

His mercies are new every morning. And that is a very good thing.

Seriously: If you can survive your children till they get to formal school age, homeschooling will be cake.

Cake, I tell you. No lie.²

Okay, sure, I'm sure there will be days where homeschooling is difficult. I know there will be. But posterity is kicking my posterior right now.

Homeschooling is not hard. It's the parenting that's killing me.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father

¹Thankfully, my wife handled that. She's a saint.
²This is a joke. A very good joke, I might add. Very funny. To me. Since it's possible you haven't played Portal just take my word for it. Or smile and shake your head. My wife does.

Bloody Knuckles

One of those important socialization phenomena that I missed until high school was a game they called Quarters. No, not the drinking game. Students at my school played the version that drew blood.

I was reminded of this less-than-sanitary pastime while hunting for a pair of socks this morning. After digging around in the hamper, I sat down on the bed.

'What?' My knuckles had started to bleed. The realization slowly hit me: In my repeated dives into the depths of the plastic clothes bin, I had scraped my knuckles raw. Serves me right for not helping fold the laundry...


Raw Knuckles

[NB: The above photo would have been more impressive if I hadn't washed my hands earlier. But unlike my fellow classmates of years gone by, I do practice certain levels of caution with biohazardous materials.]

Don't get me wrong: I really enjoyed my few years of public school. But not because of the socialization I had missed while homeschooled. If anything, I was secure enough in myself to avoid much of the madness around me.

That's not to say I was much more mature than my friends. I don't think I was. But I was confident in who I was and what I did. Perhaps overly so. But in environments where drawing blood is the social norm, my years at home prepared me to stand apart. The peer pressure of socialization phased me not at all.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father

The Early Years - Phonics

Teaching a child to learn to read is, IMHO, one of the most satisfying tasks of homeschooling. Watching understanding dawn on your student's face as they finally are able to read their first sentence, and then their first easy reader book, is beyond description. Especially if it's been a particularly long and arduous road getting there!

There are numerous, wonderful phonics programs out there. Some are quite simple in their approach, while others incorporate bells, whistles, and singing animals. Deciding which to use will depend a great deal on your child's learning style, your teaching methods, and how much money is in your bank account.

While phonics programs are wonderful tools, there are some very practical approaches to teaching reading that don't require any curriculum or packaged resources. The most basic of these is to look for reading opportunities throughout your day. When you're driving down the street, point out street signs and ask your child what letter sounds they see, or if they can sound out the words on their own. In the grocery store, pick up boxes of cereal or crackers and ask your student to identify the letters they are currently learning, or have already learned.

Homemade flash cards are another great way to teach or reinforce phonics. Start with a set of letter flash cards and play letter "Go Fish" with your child. Create a duplicate set of letter flash cards and play a "Concentration" or matching game. Or make up simple "Bingo" grids and using some macaroni or other "markers", play letter Bingo. Once you begin teaching letter blends, make up some blend flash cards and let your child build words with the cards. I remember my youngest child's excitement when he got to the place where he could build simple sentences using his flash cards. The ideas are endless!

Another good idea that used to elicit chuckles from folks who visited our home is to create "label" flash cards for the various items in your house. You can label your "couch", "chair", "bed", "table", "rug", and so on. Hand the cards to your child and let him/her sound out the word and place the label appropriately. Or perhaps mix up the cards and place the "chair" card on the rug, and the "couch" card on the table, etc... Let your student have fun correcting your "mistakes".

Once again, Dr. Beechick's Three R's booklet is full of very creative and practical ways to teach or reinforce basic reading skills. Definitely a "must have" for every homeschooler.

Enjoy the journey!
~Judy

Trouble Starting

The engine grinds and sputters. The windows are laced with tendrils of hoar frost. Outside the predawn has yet to penetrate the cold blanket of clouds.

"Come on," I mutter. My breath is ghostly in the half-light.

I turn the key again.

The engine begrudgingly turns over and painfully putters to a purr. The display on my dash slowly appears.

-4^°

Yikes. It's cold this morning. Silently quipping about global warming, I back out of the drive and onto the slippery street. I'm heading to Sonlight. It's time to get to work.

It's Tuesday.

***

It's Thursday now, but it was hard to get going Tuesday morning. It was cold. I felt a little groggy. There was a ton to do. Oh, and other things were rough.

Life is great today. But there are days and times when getting started feels like too much hassle. And it doesn't have to be due to cold weather or spats at home. Perhaps you're feeling tied down by your routine; my wife was Sunday night. Perhaps you've run into a financial situation that took the proverbial wind out of your sails; you know, things like the plumbing backing up. Yeah. Been there, done that. Perhaps you're an "old pro" but, for whatever reason, just feel like tossing in the towel today.

These are the times when having another person to lean on, glean from and pray with can be so helpful!

Don't forget that Sonlight has many opportunities and places for you to find people to talk, cry and pray with. Visit the Sonlight Forums for everything from a good laugh to get you started to deep soul searching that spurs you on. Swing by Sonlight's Facebook page to swap stories and share your experience. Contact us if we can be of any help.

And if you're struggling to get started with Sonlight, be sure to chat with a Sonlight Advisor. They'll be able to help you choose the right homeschool program for you. They can also offer insights into the program you are currently using.

Don't let something needlessly stall you. I know it can be hard, but with encouragement and a little help, even frozen engines get going. And you can too!

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father

Do It! Do It Now!

<said in my best Schwarzenegger impression>

The latest giving opportunity from Sonlight is drawing to a close. The Sonlight | OneVerse Project is almost over.

So now (yes, right now) is the time to give. That way your gift can be matched.

Check out the progress we've made thus far by visiting OneVerse.org. And don't forget to give.

First you've heard about this amazing opportunity?

Well, let me catch you up really quickly: Give through Friday, December 11 and Sonlight will match your gift 100%. For every $26 OneVerse raises, one verse of the Bible will be translated into a language that has never had the Word of God in their native tongue before. So, with Sonlight's matching opportunity, that means you can translate two verses for only $26! We are praying for three full translations of the Bible. From what I can tell, we've just started translation number two.

So, again: Please join us in giving.

Thanks!

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father

Learning Beyond School

Imagine a world where school is the only place to learn. You can't learn in your home. You gain no new skills, applicable knowledge or information at work. Church is a place for "fellowship" but teaching is nonexistent. You only learn in school.

Want to be able to do something more? Take a class. You have no other option. Even the internet is devoid of helpful suggestions or personal insights.

School: The only form of education.

Sounds like a great dystopian premise to me.

Thankfully, that is not reality. In the years since we left school we have learned a great deal. Our abilities have developed. Our knowledge base has increased. Our interests have been able to flourish. We may have taken a class here and there. But our learning has occurred elsewhere, for the most part. We have learned at home, at work, at church, with friends and even those who aren't so friendly.

Much of what we learn and use is outside of the classroom.

Film school was that way. The main point was not gleaning knowledge from my professor's presentations. Rather, we learned by doing. We made movies and learned along the way. Our professor's were the slave drivers and mentors. They taught us things, for sure, but most of what we learned was well beyond the classroom.

School is at its best when it is the catalyst for our learning.

That is why homeschooling is such a fantastic option. Home education teaches us how to learn. Learning becomes a natural part of our daily lives. And in so doing we ensure that we never fall into the trap of thinking that "school" is the only place to learn.

It's not.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father

Interested in learning more about home education options? Check out Sonlight Curriculum.

Work Boots and Curriculum

I spent most of today in my socks. This reminded me of my homeschool days. You don't have to wear shoes if you're doing work in the living room.

But I wasn't in my living room. I was here at Sonlight.

The weather has turned cold and snowy. My normal shoes get unpleasantly wet. So I wore my "work boots" to work today. But I didn't keep them on. It's rather uncomfortable to wear such heavy-duty footwear while editing video in a cubicle.


My Work Boots

Hence, my socks.

As I pulled on my boots I was struck by the power of having the right tools at the right time. My normal shoes are horribly ineffective in winter weather. I could certainly use a plastic bag around my foot as a cheap alternative to waterproof boots. It would do the trick. But my boots have made my life better.

I went for my lunch-time walk and my feet didn't freeze. My footing was sure. My life was easier. And I felt super cool.

Sonlight's Core programs are like my boots. You can absolutely homeschool without them. You don't need Sonlight to package everything together for you. You don't need guaranteed materials. There are other options out there; like a plastic bag in a shoe.

Sonlight offers you tools. Each Core offers a warmth of certainty if you're feeling overwhelmed. It provides a clear and solid path to walk down. A Core can make your life easier. And with all the incredible literature, every Core is super cool.

If the season of your educational needs has changed, remember that you can try--risk free--your pair of "Sonlight boots" for half a school year before deciding if they really are everything you wanted and more...

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father

The Early Years - Math

Let's face it, some kids are born with the math gene, and some just aren't. I personally missed out on that valuable piece of genetic material, but fortunately at least one of our children inherited his dad's ease with math.

So what does math learning look like in the elementary grades? Especially if mom isn't all that comfortable with the subject herself! Does 30 minutes of math mean sitting at the table doing a workbook for 30 minutes? Yikes! I sure hope not ...

If you have a workbook-loving student, then spend 15 minutes going over a worksheet together. Then close the book and move on to 15 more minutes with counting blocks, or math games (Mathtacular is a great choice!) on the computer. I remember teaching my younger students about pairs by having them match and fold socks. We learned simple addition and subtraction by setting the table ... counting out the forks, knives and spoons ... discussing how many we needed to take away if dad wasn't going to be home for dinner that evening. And baking is an awesome way to introduce simple fractions (and even get in a little Science at the same time!).

Have *FUN* learning math with your child. It doesn't have to be painful. If you'd like some additional practical ways to teach math without workbooks or textbooks, check out Ruth Beechick's Three R's Series.

More to come! ...
~Judy

Forgiveness and Reconciliation

Sarita's Word

---

Have you ever watched your children say "I'm sorry" when they clearly don't mean it?

I just spent a wonderful week with my children and grandchildren, and the idea of family and forgiveness is on my mind. We had the opportunity to see some of these situations play out before our eyes as young siblings and cousins had to deal with hurts—some accidental, some intentional.

Even with people whom we love dearly and genuinely enjoy, relationships are not neat and tidy. We're often caught in situations where we end up hurting others and/or being hurt ourselves. So what do we do?

Among many things, we need to seek forgiveness ... and not just spin off a quick "I'm sorry" that fails to take responsibility for whatever real wrong we did. (After all, the people we hurt are usually sorry, too, that we have hurt them!) The question is not, Am I sorry? The question is, Am I willing to own up to my fault? I have come to the conclusion that even when I am convinced the other person is 99% in the wrong, I need to seek to understand and recognize the 1% responsibility that I share in the bad situation. If I'm convinced I have absolutely no role in an interpersonal problem, how can I become part of the solution?

I'm so grateful that John has modeled this concept in our family, and especially our marriage. I seek to live it out as well.

In our marriage (and in all my relationships), when I recognize my role, acknowledge it and ask for forgiveness, I crack open the doors for reconciliation. Even if I cannot see my contribution to the problem, I must at least ask the question "How can I be made right with you?"

Now, this doesn't mean I have to take all the blame and make excuses for the person who hurt me. If I truly only have a small part in the problem, I take responsibility for that part. I don't burden myself by taking responsibility for what I had no part in. Then I seek to move forward with the other person.

One important caveat: If you are in an abusive situation, please don't give in to the temptation to take blame and responsibility where you have none. Seek the help you need and protect yourself and your family.

But in less extreme situations, this difficult self-searching and acceptance of responsibility can go a long way on the road to healing.

As I continue to spend time with family this season, I will strive to not let interpersonal difficulties go unacknowledged. I will strive to accept responsibility for my contribution to problems and seek forgiveness and reconciliation when needed.

Please know that I hold the whole Sonlight community dear to my heart. John and I and the Sonlight staff pray for you and your family, your marriage and your relationships. May God guide you and deeply bless you in this holiday season.

Blessings to you and yours,
Sarita

Incomplete

It is Friday morning. You're out running an errand. You pass a little church with a marquee out front. The sign has a cute little saying. You know, something straight out of GodSpeaks.com.

Or maybe not.

Perhaps the message is more abrasive, disturbing or even downright wrong.

Ugh.

The good news is that Matt from The Church or No People just posted an interview with someone who was fed up with such signs [NB: mild language]. Joel's insights are right on the money:

The crummiest thing about the church is that we’re all still in the process of sanctification, and not yet glorified.

I found the interview to be a worthwhile read. I came away with a reminder that I'm still incomplete. I still have a long way to go.

Just like this blog.

I've been a "professional" blogger for almost a year and a half now. I'm missing elements such as meta data (whatever that is). I still haven't figured out why my header looks wrong in IE. And my current blog grade is a failing 26/100.

Incomplete.

We all are. There are opportunities for improvement and progress in every area of our lives: Blogging, friends, marriage, homeschooling...

The beautiful thing is that, much like the little church with the lame sign, we have a community around us. We don't have to go at this alone. We shouldn't. So if you're feeling particularly incomplete today, take advantage of the resources available to you. I'll list just a few.

Luke's Top Five Resources for Homeschooling with Sonlight:

1. Sonlight Advisors
2. Sonlight's Facebook page
3. Sonlight's Forums
4. Homeschool Conventions
5. and, of course, this blog.

We are all incomplete. But by working together we can rest on the strengths of others. We can learn from those who have gone before us. And we can share our insights as well.

I urge you: Get involved!

After five years of posting about poor church signs, Joel has recently become more involved in his church. And he says in his interview that life is awesome now.

And I'll take an awesome incomplete life over an incomplete one.

I'd love to hear your recent homeschool insights, experiences or questions/struggles if you're willing to share!

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father

The Early Years - Priorities

I had the opportunity to chat via email with a new homeschooler the other day. She is educating a 6 year old and has a toddler and a newborn as well. Needless to say, she was feeling a bit frazzled!

Some practical thoughts that I shared with her were helpful to me when I walked in her shoes ...

The first thing I would concentrate on is to make a list of priorities. What academic skills do you most wish to focus on with your student? Personally ... phonics was at the top of my list for that age. If they can learn to read well, then all other subjects become that much easier. I would also work on some foundational math concepts. Everything else is "gravy"! Reading and Math ... just two subjects.

Plan to spend 20-30 minutes each day on math and 20-30 minutes each day on reading. A total of one hour of "formal" schooling. You may want to do math in the morning and reading in the afternoon ... you may want to do 15 minutes of math and then take a break and finish the final 15 minutes after the break. There are a multitude of ways to break it up, but these two subjects ... one hour per day ... would be my priority. Now that doesn't sound quite so overwhelming!

More to follow ...
~Judy

Guarantees and Testimonials

Sonlight has--to my knowledge--an unmatched guarantee in the homeschool marketplace. Buy one of Sonlight's packages. Use half of it. If you decide you don't love it, send it back. We'll refund you the cost of the program.

Incredible.

In other words: Try Sonlight. We'll cover your "trial run" if Sonlight's not for you.

But I'm interested: Did you find Sonlight's Love to Learn Guarantee helpful? Did it encourage you to try Sonlight? Or does it feel like some kind of "too good to be true" scam thingy? Did you even know Sonlight had such a guarantee?

I'm interested in your thoughts for three reasons:

1. I would love to get some testimonials about this.
2. I'm interested in your thoughts.
3. December 1 brought about some changes...

Don't worry: Sonlight's guarantee is still very much in effect. It's just as strong as ever. But the Federal Trade Commission has enacted some "clarifications" as to how companies--especially company bloggers such as myself--can use comments, user feedback and testimonials.

Unfortunately, for all the buzz I'm seeing about the December 1 "change," I can't find it on the FTC site. Which is more than a little frustrating. So I've been reading second-hand information.

I'd like your first-hand impression of Sonlight's guarantee. I invite your comments.

Afraid to post your comment because of the FTC?

Don't worry. They seem to care about the blog owner, not the commentors. I'm taking the risk. Not you. ...much like Sonlight's Sonlight's guarantee.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father

There's No Place Like 127.0.0.1

Home

I wore that shirt as we headed home yesterday.

I'm a homebody. And ever since college I've defined home as "anywhere I have my computer setup and connected to the internet." So the shirt totally applies.

I also love what I do. There was more than one occasion amidst the stress of travel and the cacophony of 8 children and 9 adults that I turned to Brittany and said, "I could be at work right now!" And I have a computer at work. And it is connected to the internet. I feel at home here.

The vacation was good. I got to "bond" more with the girls. But that was difficult as well. Bonding with children takes more patience than I often have. My conclusion: Family vacations are wonderful things. But there will be times when you wish you could just go home.

This would be the perfect time to talk about how there's no place like home for learning. This would be the place to praise homeschooling. Here is the opportunity to put home education on a pedestal. There's no place like home!

But I'm not going to.

It's entirely possible that prior to children your definition of home was "peace and quiet;" "a place to unwind after work;" "time spent with my spouse." But no more. Children decimate that. And being on vacation with two little ones just drove that home for me.

Homeschooling is hard. There are days and times when it really doesn't feel worth the trouble. Just like vacationing on the beach with 8 children under 7.

But no matter how horrible it gets, homeschooling is worth it.

Just like vacationing on the beach.

Because, really, there's no place like home.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father