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Friday, October 16, 2009

Not Lovin' It

Last night I got to do Read-Alouds for the first time (the other night the girls were too naughty, so reading was impossible). Granted, reading last night wasn't quite cuddling on the couch listening intently to a tale of wonder.

Rather, it was more like reading over a couple of talking and crying girls. Actually, that was it exactly. I was reading over a couple of talking and crying girls. They kept it up until the last couple of pages when they both quieted down and started to interact with the book.

So, naturally, we simply had to read it again <smile>.

But last night, Brittany was not loving it. She was exhausted, overwhelmed, and really not enjoying things. She said she felt cheated because other mothers loved spending time with their children. Why wasn't she?

I tried to gently remind her that there are many, many examples of people who feel overwhelmed and frustrated by their lack of a good time.

We still haven't purchased Sonlight's wonderful P3/4 program, but we are looking forward to having those added resources to help keep the little ones happily engaged. And, unlike many other aspects of life, you're guaranteed to love using Sonlight's materials.

That's right: Guranteed to love it.

Sound too good to be true?

Well, it's not. Seriously: Check it out.

Today seems to have gone better, and I'm looking forward to doing a little more of the "Sonlight method" tonight. It really is a blast reading to them. In fact, if it wasn't part of a different tagline, I'd say I was lovin' it.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Surrogate Father


Happy Elf Mom (Christine) said...

These kiddos are going to need a few weeks to adjust to the routine. Even in the best situation, this is a major upheaval in their lives.

Be gentle and patient with yourselves. It is a major upheaval in your lives as well.

I hope this raising kids thing will not prevent Brittany from visiting me in YoVille. We have to have our priorities straight, you know. :]

Meg_L said...

Ditto Mrs. C, but I'd like to expand it to all of you. Adjusting to this change is not a little deal for any of you.

Keep working on it.

Kim & Dave said...

I agree with Mrs. C-be patient with yourselves.

No, Brittany is certainly NOT the first person to feel overwhelmed. Matter of fact, I just have been feeling the same way! One of my friends posted this on her FB account. Perhaps it will encourage your wife!

From an old English parsonage down by the sea
There came in the twilight a message for me;
Its quaint Saxon legend, deeply engraven,
Hath, as it seems to me, teaching from Heaven.
And on through the hours the quiet words ring,
Like a low inspiration: DO THE NEXT THING.

Many a questioning, many a fear,
Many a doubt, hath its quieting here.
Moment by moment let down from Heaven,
Time, opportunity, guidance, are given.
Fear not tomorrows, Child of the King,
Trust them with Jesus. DO THE NEXT THING.

Do it immediately; do it with prayer;
Do it reliantly, casting all care;
Do it with reverence, tracing His hand
Who placed it before thee with earnest command,
Stayed on Omnipotence, safe ‘neath His wing,
Leave all resultings. DO THE NEXT THING.

Looking to Jesus, ever serener,
(Working or suffering) be thy demeanor.
In His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
The light of His countenance be thy psalm.
Strong in His faithfulness, praise and sing!
Then, as He beckons thee, DO THE NEXT THING.

–Source Unknown

Tammy said...

{{{Luke and Brittany}}} Hang in there! It'll take time. They need to feel safe and develop trust within your relationship. Keep lovin' on them like Jesus would :-)

Tammy ~@~

se7en said...

Oh poor B, I know exactly how she feels... parenting can be completely overwhelming even when you are an old hand at it... and when you are exhausted and launched into the deep end it can be no fun. Especially for moms. Father person's relationships can be a lot more fun - they do the reading and the rough housing and the dashing around playing, keeping kids happy... while the mother person gets things done, meals keep rolling, cleaning up and laundry... Trust me motherhood is painted a very glorious color in the media but it is mostly hugely functional and it takes time to find your rhythm and get up to speed.

Here is the thing: keep that mother person happy, spoil her rotten ten times more than you think she needs spoiling... because the mother person sets the tone of the home: Happy mother = happy home. Trust me there are times in your wife's life when you cannot spoil her too much and this is it!!!

And no getting up to speed with parenting doesn't just naturally happen. A little reward goes a long way, often just the offer of help is all I need and you are a creative guy - so all the best to you all and spoil that wife of yours!!!

Karen Joy said...

I think with children that join your home in anything other than the old-fashioned way, it may take a while before it feels less like babysitting (which can, indeed, be exhausting) and more like parenting (which can still be exhausting, but a lot more rewarding).

Unknown said...

Sounds pretty typical as far as reading to little ones goes. And tell Brittany that new moms often feel exhausted, overwhelmed, and frustrated and that's with brand newborns who sleep most of the time and not bigger ones who are dealing with a major change in their lives! I am sure as you all adjust those enjoyable moments will happen more and more.

The Hibbard Family said...

I have to confess - I HATED reading aloud to my children for the first year. On top of that, I don't enjoy playing games with them, doing things in the kitchen with them, or doing fun little crafts and such. I absolutely love my children. I adore them immensely. But I have to MAKE myself do those things with them (although the reading aloud has now become a favorite thing for me). I just say that for Brittany to know she's not alone!!! Those things are not required to be a great mom and to absolutely love the job. Sometimes we just have to figure out how to make the job ours - make it fit who we are. Praying for y'all!

Luke Holzmann said...

Mrs. C, Brittany hasn't had much time to play anything lately. But she has carved out a bit of time for WoW. Priorities <smile>. And thank you for the encouragement and reminder.

Meg, so, so true. Thank you!

Thanks so much, Kim! I'll be sure to pass it on to her.

Thank you, Tammy. We're trying <smile>.

Se7en, that's a really good point. Thanks! I'll see what I can do. <smile>

Karen, that is a fantastic observation! It does feel like babysitting... though I think that is beginning to possibly change. Very, very good point.

Thank you, Butter! I'll pass that on <smile>.

Ann, that is so good to hear! And I'm sure it will encourage Brittany as well. Though, I must admit, I'm very happy to hear that you love reading aloud now <smile>.



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